Write memoirs,
Drive speedy cars,
Sleep under the stars.

The dictionary defines a bucket list as “a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.”

I wrote one in 1998 after my dad died - motivated by the shock of losing someone too young to die. It includes learning to sew (I’ve tried and failed multiple times), grow lavender (that one I’ve accomplished many times over), and race cars (which I got to do at Limerock Park); an addition in 1999 includes skinny dip with someone and learn more about wine (those never happened); and another in 2009 to become a beer connoisseur and have a baby (I did the latter a year later and since have had a difficult time drinking beer without looking like I was having a second baby). My last update was in 2021. I added retire while I’m still young enough to enjoy it - and live on the beach in Maine.

The bucket list is essential because it forces you to consider your life’s true desires. Is it finally learning to play guitar or traveling alone? Maybe you’ve always wanted to dip your toes in the ocean’s water but never had the chance. Many of us wish to publish a book or own our own business. I imagine a few of us want a whole day to do nothing as Mr. Belvedere brings us morning coffee and a buttered baguette while folding the laundry, cleaning the house, and ensuring the kids are ready and on the bus, then planning, food shopping, and later making dinner, doing the dishes, ensuring the kids do their homework, get fed, and put to bed.

Here’s my take on what I think you should consider.

Pick an activity you’ve always wanted to do and do it. Travel to your dream destination. Learn a new skill - maybe finally remodel your bathroom. Complete that college degree, get your Real Estate License, or write your memoir. Go scuba diving. Reconnect with your college roommate or a family member you’ve lost touch with. Have that difficult conversation and leave no regrets. Do something for yourself - get a full body massage, or take a class on wine. Do something for others - volunteer, pay it forward, or buy your friend that scarf she won’t buy herself.

Whatever you decide is important to you, write it down, imagine it, and you will do it. Our minds are more powerful than we appreciate. There’s a lot of research about visualizing something to improve skills and even build muscle, positive thinking for better physical and mental health, and the law of attraction - if you believe it, it will happen. Dream big and make it happen. Try creating a mental movie of you doing the things on your bucket list. If you have a hard time visualizing (I know not everyone sees pictures in their heads), try looking at a picture of whatever it is you want to do and imagine being there or doing that. Put yourself into the picture. Cut out a picture of yourself and paste it onto the photo - or if you’re tech-savvy, photoshop that image and own it. If you’re mentally strong enough, consider your desire a done deal - something you expect to happen in the future. If you believe it, it will come.

I’m going to close my eyes now and imagine Jeeves bringing me a cup of coffee on the wrap-around porch of my perfectly clean, cozy cottage on the pebbled coast of southern Maine, with my onyx sleeper E-63 AMG S wagon waiting pretty for me in the driveway for an afternoon joy ride.