How to Host the Perfect Get-Together

Dedicated to Frannie, who has always made get-togethers look effortless.

Ina Garten and Martha Stewart are my celebrity sisters! Food, decor, making it all look easy! I’m not exactly a follower, but a few lime lighters pique my interest. Add Michelle Obama, Ali Wong, Seth Rogan, and Keanu Reeves and we‘ve got ourselves a par-tay! (Sorry, my mind wandered.)

Ina is real food. Easy to make, delicious to eat, and impressive to guests (plus she has a list of make-ahead dishes so the day of the party is easier). Martha and the team provide every guide you could possibly need to host a party, including how to design a theme and its complimentary menu or what you need to do exactly three months before, two weeks before, one day before… and so on. Home design and hosting parties have always been my thing and thanks to these two women (and the example my mom set) I’ve held many a joyous gathering.

3 Things to Consider

1. The guest list

2. The menu

3. The atmosphere

The guests and the menu may or may not need to consider each other - allergies and special accommodations notwithstanding. But the atmosphere needs to consider the guests and the menu. How will guests move about? What and where will they eat? Are we sitting formally or socially nibbling? Where and how will drinks be served? Will there be music? What type of lighting sets the mood? Is there enough seating or room for the expected number of guests? What vibe do you want to give off - casual, social, or more formal and polite?

Even if it’s just a gathering of family or friends, the priority should always be your guests. Consider what makes them feel welcome. Would they prefer to mingle about, catching up over appetizers and cocktails? While discussing last weekend's opening, do they expect a seat and a full meal? Or maybe it’s a combination, offering plenty of room to wander about and niches of seating areas for intimate conversation.

Whether your guest list is short and sweet or long and luxurious, having more than enough food and drink is your next priority. I’ve been to too many parties where there’s not enough to eat or the host failed to mention it’s BYOB. If you’re going to host, you have to provide. If money is an issue, throw a potluck, but it’s your responsibility to create the menu and assign dishes and drinks for guests to bring, (with room to adapt). It’s not a guest’s responsibility to figure out who is bringing what. And a party isn’t the time to skimp, project your eating issues, or selfishly not care what guests think. Hosting is mosting. You welcome guests, indulge them, and cater to their desires. This is why I love Ina and Martha - they get it.

And speaking of adapting - every good intention has a major failure. Roll with it. The main course is inedible? Laugh it off and order your favorite take-out to be delivered, then pour another round. Not enough drinks? Send someone on a beer (or wine) run. No seats for the extra guests that tagged along? Grab a pouf, a folding chair, or whatever you have, and add a seat to the table. Or offer up your seat (and your partner in crime’s seat) and set up a cute dining area off to the side for yourself.
No biggie.

Click on the image to get your guide to a perfectly planned party.

It’s nice to have bowls of mixed nuts, dried fruits, cheese, and crackers set in areas where people gather if the vibe allows. Snacking keeps bellies happy, and people are less likely to over-serve themselves or get too hungry, especially if the meal takes longer than expected. But don’t overdo it; you want them hungry for the main dish.

The table often sets the mood for the evening. Paired with good music, good food, and a few decor details, you can theme your night to reflect the menu, the company, or the celebration.

Check out my post on home bar essentials, to make sure you’re stocked!



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